Hey, I got a question...

Lindsay Lohan... why? Why is she in the papers day in and day out? Do I care about how she skipped rehab? Do I care that she's hanging out in all these snooty clubs? Well, lemme check...and... nope. I don't care at all. And neither should you or anybody else you know. Why? Well, maybe it's the fact that she's a no-talent hack who couldn't out-act any freshman drama student. Hell, let's say high school drama student.

I also don't care that she was in Altman's last picture. She was thrown in to try and sell tickets. Just like the fact that Cruise did a Kubrick film doesn't mean he can act either, 'cause he can't.

I also think it's kinda ironic that one of her movies was titled "Herbie: Fully Loaded" when we all know that she was the one who was loaded... And if you're wondering: I don't give a rat's ass that she is in rehab either. Just like with that other idiot Tara O'Conner (Miss USA or whatever) this is a problem of the young, rich and free-of-responsibility. Sitting in clubs when they are clearly under age snorting blow and drinking till they vomit tequila all over their UGGs and dropping more money in one night than I will make this month just kinda pisses me off!

And the god damned newspapers don't help either. Here's LL with blonde hair! Here she is pretending she can DJ! Here she is on her way to the clinic to see if the chlamydia she picked up from Wilmer Valderrama can be cleared up before she goes on vacation with the singer from -insert bad emo band name here- at some exclusive island in the South Pacific.

Hey I got an idea... let me cast Saw 4. It'll be Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton. And I get the part of Saw. A real big one. With great big teeth.