I was reading Rolling Stone the other day. There was a profile of this guy Chris Daughtry. As you know I don't watch American Idol so I have no idea who this clown is. Turns out he was on the show and was voted off. That means absolute diddly-squat to me as there are websites dedicated to getting people to vote for the worst contestants and the fact that there was that William Hung character on the show. Anyway, somehow this moron was given a record deal and his album charted at Number One.

This proves, again, that America has no collective taste and that most people are sheep who have no qualms about spending their money earned as Wal-Mart greeters on something as useless as this guy.

But what really got me so upset is what this guy cites as "influences". He talks about the 80s with Guns n Roses and Skid Row (Skid Row!!!???) and - hold on to your hats - RICK ASTLEY! Rick Astley??? (Rick Astley, who was dubbed by Bill Hicks as that "banal incubus") and Ace Of Base. Is anyone else getting a bit nauseous here...?

He talks about 90s grunge, about listening to Alice In Chains (I never liked 'em but they could play and write songs), Bush (sucked), Soundgarden and my personal Bete Noir: Stone Temple Pilots. I don't know anyone with any taste who liked that band. They were a bullshit, jump-on-the-bandwagon outfit who sold records... (make your sheep noises, people)

He talks about his "rap" phase listening to NWA, Public Enemy, License To Ill (and not mentioning any other Beastie Boys album probably because they got away from that Frat Boy sound), House Of Pain (again... stupid white boy Frat party stuff - except for "Jump Around") and - now get this: Vanilla Ice. Yep, this guy thought Vanilla Ice was GOOD! Notice how he neglected to mention any good Hip Hop, oh sorry rap artists... no Tribe Called Quest, no Black Moon, no De La Soul... etc.

It gets worse... his idea of a great lyricist is Ed from that asshole band Live. He cites this lyric: "I rushed the ladies room-took the water from the toilet-washed her feet-and blessed her name." Well, Dylan it ain't. It ain't even Kid Rock!

And this is what passes for talent these days. This man prides himself on the fact that he sounds like Nickelback. "It gives me hope", he says. Hey, it gives me hope too, Chris. Gives me hope that you'll make a lot of money deceiving the American record buying public then your next record will tank (and it WILL) and pretty soon you'll be on another really bad reality show like "Celebrity Fit Club" and you'll start hanging out with Danny Bonaduce and you'll get arrested for driving drunk and your business managers will have stolen all your money and pretty soon you'll be working the door at a strip club in the Valley telling people that you are Chris Daughtry, dammit!!

Suck a tailpipe and give a real band a chance, loser.